Class act

I was taught early in life (by my father of course, I didn't learn much in school), that we are here to provide and protect those who are weaker than us and challenge the stronger who may want to prey. The natural instinct of the powerful is to take advantage of the weak; after all, the first class cabin in the plane is a subtle reminder to those in the economy that even within the same environment, there is class distinction.

Couched in subjective definition are our characters and traits depending sometimes on our perspectives. Let's start from the elementary; bullying is a major part of the school curriculum activities here in the United States. It has become so etched in the system that some states make budgetary provision for it's eradication or reduction-whichever comes first. Sadly, this act of the perceived stronger lording it over the weaker using threats, coercion and intimidation in schools is a stark reflection of the realities in the bigger society.  

The causes are as rampant as the bullies themselves and they are easily set off by inane issues like colour of your skin, superior intelligence  (you must be dumb, inferior or both to be a bully anyway) differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size, or ability. The truth is that. in the absence of intellectual engagement, violence ensues. To complete the bullish cycle, there must be the bystanders who watch hopelessly as the bully rolls their victims.

In the comity of Nations, there are bullish nations that profit immensely from weaker nations.So,the United Nations assembled  some 193 willing countries that is ironically set up to promote international cooperation and maintain international peace to fit in as a bystander . And overseeing the highest level of administration are the five most industrialized nations who together are granted the special status of Permanent Member States at the Security Council, along with a special voting power known as the "right to veto" or “bully” on any substantive resolution.

Interestingly and under the pretext of humanitarian activities, the same permanent member countries that are at the security council are also the most indebted nations of the world, on papers! Though in reality, the chasm between extreme affluence of the first countries and the abject poverty of the third world is engulfing. And that is why migration seems to be one way. Again, it is bullying up by a notch up but using different strategies.

From Machaivellism to narcissm to psychopathy to religion, no strategy is spared when it comes to the stronger nations interfering with the internal workings of the weaker countries to gain advantage. It is worth noting that none of the  nations that introduced us to their religions- Christianity and Islam- believed nor practiced it with the same piety as us any longer. It is bullying.

Though,some have argued that bullying can teach life lessons and instill strength in the victims. Helene Guldberg, a child development academic, sparked controversy when she argued that being a target of bullying can teach a child "how to manage disputes and boost their ability to interact with others", and that teachers should not intervene, but leave children to respond. Whether this is achievable at a higher level remains largely debateable.

And so while the weaker nations pray for better future, the bullying nations continue to prey by simply working to improve on the future we are someday hoping to achieve.This is ….I don't know!

Jerusalem

If all you knew about Christian and Muslim is the narrative in the book of Genesis about how Abraham -the father of faith knew his house help;and she begat an Ishmael before Madam eventually bore Isaac, then you're in good company. I also didn't get to know that Israel and Egypt were earthly nations until my days in secondary schools. I honestly thought these countries were nations that we-the sinless- will eventually see at the hereafter.

So, you can imagine my chagrin when I discovered that Egypt is in North Africa and that the Egyptians play football(Soccer)! And that Israel didn't exactly become a nation until 1948 because In 1947, the newly formed United Nations accepted the idea to partition Palestine into a zone for the Jews (Israel) and a zone for the Arabs (Palestine). With this United Nations proposal, the British withdrew from the region on May 14th 1948. ... To the Jews, Israel was officially born. To me, river Niger is a natural boundary within the contraption called Nigeria.

You honestly do not expect me to zip centuries years old history into paragraphs, but the fact of  the matter is that the recent recognition of Jerusalem by Trump as the new capital of Israel has been perceived by stakeholders in that region as travesty of justice and capable of threatening the fabric of the peace process not only in that region but in the world.

Israel is bordered by modern countries like Syria, Lebanon, Jordan and Egypt- nations that made  Amelekite and Jebusite looked friendly in comparison! And, quite contrary to the Bibilical injunction,Israel has never loved or been loved by any of her neighbors. As a matter of fact, Israel has at one point or the other in her chequered history, fought with all her neighbours. They had to fight for settlement first; and then, survival.

The little patch of land they are presently located  is called occupied territory because the Palestinian also occupied the south of Jerusalem. And the contention over Jerusalem that is famed to be one of the oldest cities in the world is not because oil has been discovered there, nay. This less than 0.35 square miles walled Old City has an exceptionally high concentration of holy sites and monuments and is sacred to the world’s Jews, Muslims and Christians. The combination of these three monotheistic religions represents a cauldron of potentially spicy broth a sane person must not stir.Already, the social media is buzzing with the characterization of this diplomatic gaffe as spiritual connotations of end time. Nothing is farther from the truth.

From account of what I read, Lord Lugard and the wife were British representatives in Nigeria who like Trump decided to lump three different  races  into one corporate entity for the common good of the West and named it Nigeria without regards to our obvious and varying differences in faith and culture. We may not have holy sites or monuments worth killing ourselves over, but the crude oil is enough reason for this western imperialist agenda.

Just before we hasten to take side in the days of rage ahead the relocation of the ark from Tel-Aviv to Jerusalem, we must quit making excuses for our failure as a sitting puppet of the West and sit down on the table of brotherhood to restructure,having in mind that the land is of God and its fullness thereof.

Prejudice

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The first time I read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, it was out of my passion for anything literary; but the second time was simply out of mischief. And I truly enjoyed the latter mainly because of this introductory quote: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife". My perspectives about the quote decades ago is still valid till today, irrespective of the fact that the book was first published in 1813.


In today's context, "single man" is an endangered specie while "single man" with ‘good fortune’ is almost extinct. The predatory instinct  of the woman coupled with the fact that the population of the two genders (knowing there are now more than two) is lopsided in favour of women, are major contributors to the alarming rate at which the planet is running out of the "single man"specie"

To further explore this social phenomenon, we must take a dispassionate look at the causes and effects- which are of course well known to anyone above 18 years Unlike global warming, it is quite difficult to be objective where emotion is in constant collusion with logic. Rather, let’s take a look at world events in the last three weeks.


Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood baron was the first hit in a creepy list of what is fast becoming a hall of infamous sexual harassment. The initial reaction when the allegation broke out was that, sexual harassment should not be a surprise in an industry that grew out of the ashes of Sodom and Gomorrah. Sexual activities are rife in the entertainment industry. That notwithstanding, the number of ladies that have fingered (no pun intended) Harvey in these allegation would, if asked to form a line, reach all the way to Congress.

If the Hollywood allegations of sexual harassment can be excused as occupational hazards, same cannot be said however,of the sexual impropriety in the hollow chambers of the Congress who ideally should be the flag bearers of all that defines decency. Across the aisle and in a bipartisan manner, congress men are either busy denying allegations or apologising for their sexual misconduct as scandal after scandal continues to overshadow legislative activities.


The fear here is that if this trend continues, there will be more revelations that may well topple the congress from the place of honour it occupies as an upholder of all that we hold dear and true. At this rate,the congress may soon run out of men of integrity, thereby paralyzing the biggest and most effective man made political system in the world. The comforting part of the story, as I reassured my American friends is that this cannot happen at home . Our women are more diplomatic and most of the times,  our discerning men ‘with good fortune’ in power are well able to tell their yes from their no.


Mugabe? Remember we have been chronicling world events in the last recent weeks. He is a man with "good fortune" that was "graciously" brought down by a the help of a wife.

Subject

Nigerians however cannot lay claim to such testimony when it comes to the chemistry between them and politics. Nigerians' politics is like our greed - very straight forward. And the reason is simple. While Nigerians see our economic glass AS half empty and the laboratory tests confirm same, our leaders see the glass completely full! Half with liquid and half with air. See my consternation with everything chemistry? In assessment of content purity, our leaders are not part of the solution and neither it seems, are we the led, part of the precipitate.

Politics here in America is more like the version of chemistry in my secondary school days. Completely complex and absorbing in it's seemingly simple appearance. The modern political party system in the US is a two-party system dominated by the Democratic Party and the Republican Party. The remaining 2% of the population who are not in the mainstream are filtered into the politically insignificant parties, that you probably would not know.

Until very recently, the majority of Americans have been prisoners of the brand of politics played. This is primarily because the sustenance of the capitalism foundation upon which their democracy is based is  driven by the working class, not necessarily the middle class.

In other words, you're made to pay for everything uncle Sam puts on your plate. Now, paying taxes is  entirely a bad idea, but having the poor pay more than the rich who can easily afford it, can be likened t H20, which is the molecular formula for water for H2O2-the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide: which will kill you instantly if you drink it.

The new tax bill up for debate by our congress men and women is already a mix that is capable of setting the congress alight and killing the people. And you only need residual knowledge in chemistry to know that you can never trust atoms because they make up everything!

Mass Voting

White House is presumably the symbol of the awesomeness of the United States of America as the most powerful nation on planet Earth. Though, the colour white depicts purity, it is hardly a true representative of a nation that has over the years become a safe haven for all colours. What's in a colour, you may want to ask? Nothing, until you know what's in the house. We will come back to that later.

Last week, November 5, 2017, there was a mass shooting at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas, about 30 miles east of the city of San Antonio. The gunman, 26-year-old Devin Patrick Kelley of nearby New Braunfels, killed 26 and injured scores more when he decided to take not only law but also semi automatic rifles in to his hand.

Preliminary investigations have revealed that the shooter was allowed to buy rifles and stockpile ammunition in spite of his mental health. He was also known to have sneaked guns into Airforce base and escaped from mental facility in 2012, and also has a pending sex assault case hanging on his neck before rage and revenge consumed him as he went looking for his mother in law.

As at this time, it is inconclusive what exactly was his grouse with the mother-in-law. Relationships with mothers-in-law have always been generally cantankerous, but this must have assumed a dangerous dimension and was able to fuel this young man’s demented mental abilities and raging revenge.

The troubling part is that this is coming in the heels of the Las Vegas shooting and other 306 recorded mass shooting this year alone in the United States. Trying to find motives for these mindless killing has so far left the FBI clueless but not hopeless. Arrested mass murderers are often white and always plead insanity as defense.

Insane people here unlike back home live in good neighbourhood and dress decently thereby making it impossible to detect early mental cases until it is manifested. Having it manifested in the neighbourhood is bad enough, the nation can however not afford these extremes in domain and public offices where policies are formulated. Ever wondered who's more insane? The guy who buys guns off the shelf or the politically elected representatives who ensure enabling laws are made to facilitate mass murder?  The case of "he who drums for a mad man is himself a mad mna"; Ola Rotimi, "The God's are not to blame".

Finally, it does not matter what colour you paint your house, the colour of your conscience is determined ultimately by your deeds and act. And this will be brought to remembrance at the 2018 mid-term elections. Though the ballot boxes are white, voting will be colourless.

War is war.

"No sentimentality comrades, war is war"! -Snowball in Animal Farm.

Wars are wars. There can't be civil or uncivil war. The categorization of wars as means of conflict resolution fundamentally negates the intents and causes of war. In simpler form, wars fought in both civilised and uncivilized climes, (as long as they are within same people and in same geographical location)are termed civil wars! Interesting.

What is not interesting however, is the aftermath of any war. I guess that is why the government is being asked to pay 50 billion naira to compensate war victims and a further 38 billion naira to state authorities to help rebuild damaged property by the Economic Community of West African States Court of Justice. Relax, we do not have the money and even if we did, there are no statistics to aid payment.

The three-year conflict was fought between the Nigerian government and the southeast- Biafra, and if by now, you still don't know the reason for the war, you are in good company, because I don't either. This is not meant to slight lives that were lost or laid down for the war, but just to underscore the importance of dialogue in conflict management. Scars of war do not heal easily no matter the amount of money spent on it, neither does the ghost of war gets exorcised at the mention of Halloween. Wars are better when unfought; especially the mindless one we had in 1967.

Before am hastened to be reminded about the pros of war like liberation of the oppressed(as expressed in American civil war), the ingenuity of managing the economy as well as the evolved technological initiative of the seccenionist during this period, the fact remains that all these are developments that could have been better managed under peaceful conditions.

Again,If you still do not know the story of the slave trade, it is either you are younger than this piece or slept through history class. Whichever way, you still will not be entitled to a recap- war memories are traumatizing. Anyway in 1860,The Civil War, also known as “The War Between the States,” was fought between the United States of America and the Confederate States of America, a collection of eleven southern states that left the Union in 1860 and 1861 and formed their own country in order to protect the institution of slavery. Of course, without rolling my eyeballs, the slaves in question were blacks!

In order not to lose the war after the battle was won, American Congress embarked on a reconstruction which lasted from 1866 to 1877, aimed at reorganizing the Southern states after the Civil War, providing the means for readmitting them into the Union, and defining the means by which whites and blacks could live together in a nonslave society. That is reconciliation and reconstruction. Not compensation.

Rather than embarked on deliberate and conceited effort in readmiting our brothers and their grievances back into the fold after the civil war, the federal government chose the path of winners take all. Since then, the South East have been licking their wound in the hope that further alienation- that is mainly self inflicted will not reopen their wound. The toothless court located in Abuja can bang it's gavel for all we care, it will never drown the drums of war resonating again in the not too distant future, This time,from all aggrieved tribes.

Monetary compensation is good, don't get me wrong,as long as it's equitable distribution will not brew another potential war. However, anything short of true reconciliation and reconstruction of the Nigeria entity will simply not suffice. I hope you have read this piece bearing in mind that we are entitled to our opinions, but not our own facts.

Figuring out Figures

In mid July, the International Monetary Fund headquartered some blocks away from my D.C. office, predicted that the Nigerian economy would expand by 1.9% in 2018. Similarly, it projected that Nigeria will exit the current economic recession with a narrow margin of 0.8% economic growth. Figures,like hips, don't lie. But predictions? There is always room for reservations.

Not too many Nigerians-even with their reputation as die hard optimists at home and in diaspora are willing to share in this pie chart of a news, knowing that what is left of the national cake is crumbs that will not get to the floor where the majority of Nigerians are. And, the reason for this is not far fetched.

Petroleum remains the highest source of our revenue, and we are already ensuring that if it doesn't dry up naturally, we will unnaturally speed up the process by the acts of pipeline vandalism, bunkering,underfunding,over inflated contracts,inadequate local contents, outright corruption,gas flaring,environmental degradation and so much more. And if that does not help, international conspiracy against conventional energy in favour of greener energy is likely to reduce the prospect of crude oil being a catalyst for economic growth. Soon, the rest of the world will stop buying.

Naturally, non oil exports present another area of opportunity for diversification. Agriculture remains the largest employer of labour in Nigeria, contributing about 24.2% of our GDP. The last and present administration are on the same page on the need for this sector to be revived in a more significant way. Sadly, the various initiatives like Commercial Agriculture Credit Scheme and Nigerian Incentive-based  Risk- sharing system for Agricultural Lending are proving to be a major success only in Kebbi State, where 78,000 small holders farmers are cultivating about 100,000 hectares of rice farm, with the prospect of over one million metric tons of rice this year. While other states are either erecting statues or having their farmland destroyed by grazing animals.

Again, the International conspiracy shows up. We have major challenges facing major investment opportunities like these, and that have been identified as human capacity development and infrastructural deficiencies. The African Development Bank estimates that Nigeria has an infrastructure-funding gap of US$300 billion that stands in the way of realizing our potentials in this sector.

The figure looks good from afar, but the realities are grim. The reason for systemic failure in the country however is not as much as the above but our negative attitudinal tendencies and subdued mindset.

Policies can be crafted by the best brains and figures prepared to support imminent predictions, all this will amount to just figures that will make sense on the pages of newspapers and no sense to the livelihood of the people. And, if we don't stop praying and start farming, we may end up fasting.

Weaponized Democracy

South Africa remains the only country in the world to ever give up her nuclear program in pursuit of world peace; we, sorry,I meant Nigeria did not have to make such sacrifice because she does not even have the capabilities in the first place.

Since the end of the 2nd world war industrialized countries around the world have had a paradigm shift from the conventional warfare to more sophisticated nuclear armament. The lesser successful countries did not fold their arms in pitiful surrender but have also made progress in the cheaper and equally devastating chemical weapons.

This page does not in any way endorses warfare of any  proportion-this planet, irrespective of the abuse we have subjected it to, is too beautiful to be destroyed by the over 3 billion tenants. That responsibility should honestly be at the discretion of the Creator. Having made that notation, we can now progress avoiding the political and religious landmines towards the subject matter of this treatise.

And the world should not lose any sleep over the cry of war between the USA and North Korea, it is similarly needless for the CIA to embark on any expensive assassination plot. Diabetes should take care of him. 

Fifty years after the bloody civil war and 57 years after the contraption called Nigerian was selfishly put together, the agitation for Biafra 2.0 has reared it's head again. And rather than opening a line of communication for discussion the Nigerian  government has officially declared the agitation a terrorist process and have belatedly been treating them as such.

The President’s belligerent attitude towards the agitators may not be unconnected to his diagnosed  impaired hearing in recent past, a man who cannot hear well may have to rely totally on body language as means of  non verbal communication. The consensus is that restructuring is long overdue and if we cannot live together, then we shouldn't.

As we sleep, the world go round but that shouldn't change our target when we want to test our armoury. Our agitated citizens are already on edge and if we do not stop pointing our outdated weapons at them and voluntarily disarm like South Africa, the consequences of self implosion of nuclear proportions may seek us out like guided missiles.

Burden of Decision

Close to a year after USA has approved vehicles to drive itself, Saudi Arabia is just legislating that women should be driving vehicles, come June 2018. For some ridiculous religious reasons, the Saudi women have been in this bondage of not being allowed to either express themselves or live life to the fullest despite their level of literacy for decade. Though, the Kingdom in lifting the ban did not concede it was a bad decision. Very few people ever admit to mistake anyway.

While this was happening in Asia, down in the continent of Europe, Professor Richard Thaler was being awarded the 2017 Nobel Prize in economics for his work on behavioral economics. A section of economics that tries to understand how humans make decisions,especially the bad ones.

Professor Thaler is one of the leading experts in the relatively new field that combines psychology with economics. For almost 50 years, he has made a career of studying people's poor choices. How could such a seemingly innocuous human endeavour attract such a high level of elitist attraction? From major governmental decisions that have impacted humanity down to trivial home decisions of what Tv channel to watch have all in different ways takes it's toll on us all.

Here is the thing: For the second consecutive year, there were no women among the 2017 Nobel Prize laureates. The head of the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences said the committees that choose Nobel Prize winners will meet this winter to discuss gender and ethnic diversity issues in the awards. Meanwhile, each of the six prizes is chosen by a different committee, three of which are currently headed by women.

Back home, The decision to appoint Aisha Ahmad as the new CBN deputy governor is generating controversy not award. And fingers are pointing, once again to Mr President for his tribalistic choice of decision. This position is by law subject to the ratification of the senate,but most people are of the opinion that a lot of our senators are not even qualified. The logic is that since they too did not get there on merit,but on other consideration, they cannot be relied upon to take a good decision. Is there a quandary here? Let's ask Prof Thaler, the latest Nobel Laureate!

Asked by phone what he planned to do with his $1.1 million prize, Thaler joked that he intended to spend it “as irrationally as possible”.  

Amended Amendments

United States of America was discovered by Christopher Columbus today in history but the Nation is founded on similar or amended rules like the Israelites in their early constitution as enshrined in the book of Leviticus. The famed constitution of America is framed by ten amendments like the ten commandments!

The first two of these amendments are arguably the most important as their provisions are germane to the very existence of the country. The first and second amendments respectively provided thus; guarantees freedoms concerning religion, expression, assembly, and the right to petition.  It forbids Congress from both promoting one religion over others and also restricting an individual’s religious practices and protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms and was adopted on December 15, 1791, as part of the first ten amendments contained in the Bill of Rights.

In a land where there are more guns than people and where it is far easier to buy a gun than antibiotics, the carnage in Las Vegas witnessed around the world, to me, was more horrific than surprising. Within ten minutes of sporadic shooting from semi automatic rifles that were able to operate like automatic rifles, 50 lives laid wasted and many more lost limbs. The killer was found dead with 47 legally acquired guns. Ordinarily, nobody should be allowed to own 47 of anything.

Preliminary investigations have only managed to reveal the obvious- gun controls. Blacks are reputed to be the most violent race in the United States because of the drug war statistics but that quickly pale into insignificance at the incomprehensible mass killing by whites. The consequences of both acts are always the same. The blacks get sent to jail sagging with their tattoed covered behind in view, while the white mass murderer get sent to homes on an insanity plea for care and cure.

Rather than seize the urgency of the moment to discuss and legislate on gun control, the administration is busy sending proposals to Congress on how to finally solve illegal immigration, the White House submitted a 70-point enforcement plan to Congress Sunday proposing the stiffest reforms ever offered by an administration — including a massive rewrite of the law in order to eliminate loopholes illegal immigrants have exploited to gain a foothold in the U.S.

Well, the New York City Marathon holds in November and I think all undocumented immigrants should use it as a dress rehearsal for the journey back to their individual countries. This administration is unrelenting in ridding the country of illegal immigrants. The guns are however legal and they have come to stay.

Out-Priced

Until last week, Mr. Tom Edmund Price was the secretary of Health and Human services in the Trump administration. An American physician and politician, with a penchant for luxury as evident in his choice of transportation,was forced out of office on account of his almost a million dollars of our taxpayers money expended on chartered private jet flights in the course of executing both official and unofficial duties.

Mr Price was eventually out-priced and summarily jet-tisoned on his last ludicrous flight from D.C. to Pennsylvania. Prior to his inauguration, Mr President has boasted of draining the Washington swamps on arrival. That is a promise he has managed to keep, the flip however is that the swamp is on his own side of the coin.

When the cost of maintaining Mr Price seat in the cabinet first broke out by the “fake” media, it was  deemed to be a narrative designed by the alt left to hurt the confused present cabinet. Few weeks and some subtle investigative journalism later, Mr Price started feeling the heat as he quickly announced that as a matter of retribution, he will pay back the amount of taxpayers fund he has used in privacy for private jets. And I felt that was fair enough and on that basis both liberals and conservatives should be square.

But, no. The peasants (yes they are here too,and they form the majority)however has other ideas. So, just dropping what he misappropriated after their shouting was not enough. Hence, they went for the kill. Mr Price handed over his letter of resignation, and again I thought that would naturally end the matter. It would certainly not have gone this far in Nigeria.

As at the time of writing this piece, Mr Price awaits prosecution without negotiation. And if you think that is a heavy price to pay for would have qualified as perk of office back home, wait till we hear the end and ripples of this priceless condition of democracy called accountability and probity.

To ensure accountability and transparency, public servants back home are made to swear using their faith in which they do not believe in as a symbol. And the rest of us go to sleep with same symbols of faith tucked under our pillows, leaving our collective treasury in the hands of these former nobles at the helm of our affairs to loot.

To stroke the fire of revolution, discontent is usually the catalyst and this can be traced in history from the downfall of the Han empire in 200 A.D to recent 1917 Bolsheviks revolution in Russia. Our contentment with everything unjust, unfair and unequal distribution of power and wealth has however left us paying a heavier price than the cost of average revolution in history.

We shall not hold anyone except ourselves responsible for our woes because we did not pay any price for our freedom.

Ms.Hurricane Harvey

Ms Hurricane Harvey checked into Houston, Texas some weeks ago, though uninvited but expected and left in her wake 72 dead, homes devastated, lives shattered and millions without water, power and supply.

Sitting down in an armchair at the safety and comfort of your home watching it on any of the networks is nothing compared to what actually happened. But for regular folks to be able to wrap their mind around this humanitarian crisis, they may need to cast their mind to “omiyale”-a disastrous flood that almost obliterate the city of Ibadan. That ‘omiyale’ flood , is what Texas’ intricate but massive sewage system will lap up today and still be thirsty!

What however hit Texas was much more than that.A meteorologist's calculations put it succinctly in that one of Hurricane Harvey's worst-hit counties estimated that nearly 1 trillion gallons of water fell over Harris County in four days. And do not forget that this was assisted with a 120 mph wind!

That's roughly the same amount of water it takes Niagara Falls, and the gorge, about 15 days to process, according to Jeff Lindner, a meteorologist with the Harris County Flood Control District.

Science saw it first, thereby giving human a week to tirelessly prepare for an unwanted visitor coming with excess luggage of fury. Who are you to close your door when mother nature visits? The catastrophe was only limited by hasty evacuation, alternative shelter arrangements and deployment of service men and women trained or have a heart for search and rescue missions.

It took the consistent barrage of criticism of hurricane proportion to have the man of God, Joel Osteen opened up the sanctity of the sanctuary of the church that we thought was His to displaced and distressed Americans. In defense, the man of God claimed he was not given enough notice. He can be excused; just like other men of God, no prophet saw it coming! Only meteorologists.

In the coming weeks and probably months, we may have to rely on the study and meticulous scientific investigations to unravel how we have inadvertently contributed to this disaster by our negligence of climatic demands and requirements. Taking care of the environment may not totally stop mother nature from occasionally reminding us of our frailties as human, but it will at least mitigate the ferociousness of her visit.

Interestingly and within 72 hours of this calamitous attacks, supply has been  streaming in from purely humanitarian sources and power Is being restored to most areas as evacuees return home to salvage what is left behind either as history, habitation or lesson.

Contrarily, Africa has continue to pride our exclusion from the list of continents prone to such brutal climatic extremes on her addiction to prayers and self inflicted righteousness. And in religion permanent bickering with science, we must know whose corner we want to be as that may end up determining our lot in life.

Or is our Armageddon already upon us?

Hard hearing

In Nebraska last week, the President-for-now, Donald J. Trump lambasted African leaders who have through their greed and corrupt tendencies reduced their people to slaves and sub humans. He was appalled at our indignant leaders’ procesed withdrawal from the from the International Criminal Court located in Hagues, not in Harare, Zimbabwe.

Reacting to a question from a South African reporter, President Trump said: "It is shameful for African leaders to seek exit from ICC. In my view, these leaders want to have all the freedom to oppress their poor people without anyone asking them a question.

I think there is no shortcut to maturity and in my view, Africa should be recolonized because Africans are still under slavery”. Strong words from an equally representative of a strong order.

Before you write off Donald Trump as a demagogue, let us laser focus on the message and  you will realize  that Mr Trump has not said anything earth shaking. Similar messages and opinions have been expressed at different fora by divergent leaders in the past. However, apart from President Mohammed Buhari, who can be excused on medical ground because of his impaired hearing, it appears other African leaders’ ears are mainly decorative and not meant for hearing.

To be called a slave in the modern era is insultive. To be one without knowing is horrible and to not be able to do anything about it is demeaning. This is our lot in Africa-a continent that is the bank of almost one third of the world's hidden treasue.

Slaves are naturally timid and submissive, unable to seek more than ideal and quite content with deplorable conditions. Slaves are bound more by mind than matters and that is why after celebrating independence over some decades ago, our fellow slaves whom we shared the same colonial master are now reminding us that we are still under hidden shackles like our treasures.

Further more, a European court prosecuting mainly African leaders in Europe, while Bush Jnr and Tony Blair may never have their day in court over atrocities in Iraq, has the characterizations of modern slavery judiciary process.

Given the backlash this speech is going to generate in the social media, it is pertinent we look at the options available to us both as acclaimed slaves and unrepentant optimists.

With the treachery of some few native leaders and the European leeches the continent of Africa witnessed these: the destruction of magnificent civilizations, the break-up of family and kinship circles, the massive depopulation, forced impoverishment, famine and starvation, the ravishing of an environment which had been so conducive to human civilization for millennia.

Compared that to what we have now and you may want to agree with me that while neither conditions are suitable; Trump’s call for re-colonization is completely insensitive and off the mark.

The saddest and unmentioned part of this narrative is that our leaders are as enslaved as the led. And this story is not likely to change anytime soon.

Driverless driving

Before this piece becomes obselete in another few weeks, the state of Virginia will have concluded on the decision to allow the possibility of allowing autonomous, or self driving cars on express lane of Interstates 95 and 495 in Northern Virginia.

Tests will focus on whether autonomous vehicles could “talk” with each other and successfully run in the same lanes as regular traffic. The tests will similarly determine what wireless tools may be needed to keep the self driving vehicles on track.

Known as AV( Autonomous Vehicle) such services will be safer, reduce pollution and congestion, and will also bring about a paradigm shift in personal vehicle ownership rates, which are likely to decline steeply. The insane crave for car ownership may be resolved.

We don't need proof of research to prove that human error is responsible for 95% of fatal car accidents .When you eliminate human error, our roads become dramatically safer: no more drink-driving, phone calls at the wheel, carelessness, inattention or plain bad driving. Clearly there needs to be adequate industry testing to ensure that AVs are safe for all other road users, but we can look forward to far safer roads as human drivers become a thing of the past.

Back home, our public buses popularly known as “danfo” literally means autonomous run on similar or amended technology as the America’s pilot test and it has been in existence over the centuries with minimal casualtities according to our unavailable statistics.

The buses run on gas so also are the drivers, the only difference being in the high level of ethanol present in the drivers’ intake. Both bus and drivers are however agents of pollution as the buses belch carbon monoxide; the drivers suffocate the passengers with the smoke twirling from nicotine stained index fingers.

Perching suisidicaly on the tailboard of bus, in tattered under shirt and rythimically shouting bus stops and destinations is not the most approachable of customer service postures, but that is the best our research and development in that sector has been able to come up with.

There are always going to be drawbacks, even with precision technology.I am not convinced that silicon valley programmers, effectively driving the car remotely, are any more competent than the average driver.

However, with what we call roads, epileptic energy, newt-sized network and our autonomous leadership, we might as well for now and in the far future stick to our present mode of transportation. And then, hope that there will still be people left to embrace VA in year 4045 when this technology will become available to lesser nations.

Totally Dependent

Some hours before the commemoration of America’s independence, North Korea successfully launched an ICBM to the beliwerdment of everything and everyone peaceful. In retaliation, I stood at the rooftop bar of the Hyatt Place, five blocks away from the white house and watched in awe as the military might of the United States of America showcased colourful fireworks that will intimidate both known and perceived enemies of the State.

Every July 4th, since Fourth of July 1776,is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence 241 years ago on July 4, 1776. The Continental Congress declared that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a new nation, the United States of America, and were no longer part of the British Empire. The Congress actually voted to declare independence two days earlier, on July 2nd. The discrepancy in dates have little or no impact on the sanctity of the occasion.

The main issue that birth the nation was taxation and a lack of control over their affairs (conditions that sound familiar), and this declaration marked the beginning of war against the colonial master in a way that eventually spelt out core American ideals– *that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.*

In achieving above, the founding fathers opened up the country to visitors who share similar philosophies and looking for a conducive environment to call home. Today's America is the tireless and timeless efforts of both settlers and immigrants who jointly sacrificed all to have a country where dreams come true, irrespective of the nightmares you had before leaving home.

However, just like the Nigerian armed robber who after stealing your car went ahead to install an anti-theft device in the car to prevent it from being stolen from him, American documented immigrants in positions of authority are beginning to embark on policies that are capable of undermining the very foundation on which the new order was born.

Lagos State share similar fate with the USA in terms of her heritage and cosmopolitan nature. It is however beyond my comprehension why the folks that relocated there from other part of the country continue to refer to Lagos as no a man's land and by implication, disdain the sanctuary offered them by Lagosians.

For the sake of America,  a country built on the idea of being a refuge for those in need, *the tired masses, yearning to breathe free.* Both host and guests must remember the ideals of the founding fathers.

I miss dependence day at home.

In the light of PMB purported speech impairment and loss of hearing, the Acting President told his audience while commemorating fathers' day in Abuja, that corruption may continue to be with us if the church continues to offer succour and protection to members who are bleeding the country to death.

Fearing that the nation may not ressurect from timely death, pastor Osibajo has called on church leaders to ostracise and expose their members who grow rich through fraudulent means. And also to stop telling worshippers to give; adding “but we need to talk more about honesty”.

Being a former prosecutor and a senior pastor in one of the richest parishes of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, he must have been appalled at the rate the state is losing clear cut cases against corruption in the courts. I share Osibajo’s consternation at his dismay with his two constituency-the church and court who jointly seem to have betrayed the fight against corruption. The question is that does the Acting President have a case?

Already, reactions are beginning to come from other men of God who are visibly enraged at the “former pastor” attempt at spoiling ‘business'. And some wonder why the pastor is not removing the speck in his eyes rather than taking a dig at the log in the church’s eye. Similarly, they see the Presidential pastor’s exposure of the church as casting the first stone in the midst of those who think they are without sins. Not the congregation.

With the way worshippers throng the churches during weekdays, you begin to wonder where is  our manpower that is meant to drive production and the country's economy? We now have a bunch of timid followership whose reasoning faculty is suspended in allegiance to the serving and deservingly rich pastors. I have nothing against the pastors riding the waves becuase, for you to be duped, you must possess an element of greed too. We are gullible because the modern day theology of tithing and offering is built on fear and greed, but it works!

The judiciary arm is no better; the acting President knows, and that is why he thinks judgement must starts from his house. The other  pastors whose churches are built not on the rock  however know that the only place you get judged without being prosecuted is in the Bible. And with that knowledge, they continue to exploit the masses, protect the looters and pray that the coming of the Lord tarries.

In the days to come, we may have to touch the annointed if they will not stop touching our collective inheritance in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And the people say…?

June is usually a rainy month in Nigeria, roads or whatever is left of them are regularly flooded. What however is flooding the public discourse is the puported removal of Christian Religious Knowledge (known as BK during my time in school) as a subject from the school curriculum by the Federal Government.


Though, the Federal Government has issued a denial and Nigerian Educational and Research Development Council (NERDC) has corroborated through its chairman the fact that the above is just a false assumption. I hope not, because in our attempt to please all the parties that make up the contraption called Nigeria, we have often allow other consideration rather than merit to guide and inform our public policy.


Despite the government’s rebuttal, the storm generated by the controversy continues to gather like a turban. The jokers in government do not take themselves seriously, I honestly do not know why we do.


Here is the point: Israel and Saudi Arabia both remain the religious capitals of the world, irrespective of our piety. Israel is a signatory of the Convention against Discrimination in Education, and by virtue of that, operates an Arab education system for the Israeli-Arab minority, teaching Arab students, in Arabic, about their history and culture. That is how expansive their education policy is, and how broad minded these folks are.


I remember telling my kids when we just got here and  they complained of ostracism in school, that they need to introduce themselves to be known. They retorted that they already gave a bio profile of themselves in class. We obviously were not on the same page until I told them introduction is performance based in school. A term and many honour roll later, they are now the toast of the school!


Similarly, as a country, we are not going to join the league of developed and industrialized nations by converting all warehouses and industrial cottages to churches. Neither will our adept knowledge of the Bible get us either to United Nation permanent membership nor anywhere near heaven. We must as a nation elevate our discourse, up our games and commit religion to where it belongs-our heart, as we free our

brain for more cerebral issues.


Right now, we are not thinking. And it is not by who you know; it is by what you know. In all thy getting, get wisdom.

Blinded judgement

My characterization of the senate leader may be wrong in the sense that I have never met him nor heard him directly; but I consider myself a fairly good reader and listener that- has an above average objective comprehension of narratives. And from what has been streaming in terms of news from home in the last week about the embattled leader and his euphoric victory over corruption and perjury charges, I shudder at the complexion of the future of the country as a nation.


Dr. Bukola Saraki may as well arguably be the last titan of the Saraki family dynasty that has overwhelmingly held Kwara indigenes, and lately Nigerians captives for sometime now without demanding for a ransom. They did not have to. The family is famously rich. Richer than the banking institution that later went under from the burden of being tagged and managed by this family of no clear cut enterprise or endeavour.


As his name implies, ‘Bukola’ literally decided to add to the dwindling wealth of the family by dipping his hand in the cookie jar and his subsequent inability to reconcile the discrepancies arising from declared and uncleared assets despite his imported doctorate degree, landed him in the tribunal..


For two years, the nation held her breath as the good battles with the evil in the Code of Conduct Tribunal, Abuja. Credible sources from the bureau say that nothing was going to come out of the case, but I vehemently argued. The case against the senate leader appeared watertight and the stance of the President on corruption coupled with having a legal luminary Christian brother as a vice president further tightens the noose. The prosecution seemed to be on a roll as the battle was already lost for the senate leader in the court of public opinion. So I presumed.


In the end, the prosecutors could not establish a prima facie that would warrant Bukky to at least offer an explanation to us over these glaring malfeasance that the judge could not see because of the blindfold of paying overwhelming attention to technicality over substantive justice. An euphemism for “paddy paddy judgement”.


The judge therefore decided to brutally slap the defendant’s wrist by handing over a discharge and acquittal ruling. Meaning that the senate leader should not have been brought to court in the first place, not to talk of wasting taxpayers money on a case that should have been settled on the streets in the first place.


Just like Bola, I mean Tinubu, Bukola too never had his day in court. And so, the advice to the youth who want to pursue a career in organized crime is to try the public sector. As for the docile Nigerians who have decided to shrug and would rather hand the case over to God, they should read God’s ruling in the celebrated case of the “Prodigal son vs his brother” in the book of New Testament.


I rest my case!

Drive safely

The transition has not been perfect and understandably so, but it is still a lot better than Trump's first 100 days in or out of office. If there is any evidence to support that fact, it is the rate of our children's accelerated integration into an otherwise complex system. We undoubtedly did not think it was going to be easy; nothing good comes easy in life, but, we apparently were not not prepared to be shaken by everyday experiences.

In a land where there are more guns than people; and the blunt division among the people is becoming sharper by hidden deep seated animosity against them and us, settling down can be unsettling even in minute matters.

Here's my driving experience: I started driving from the womb, if you are in doubt ask my mum. She said my pregnancy drove her restless- had me late. Why? Ask my dad. But that will be rather too late now because they are both late. Anyway, prior to my relocation to the USA, I have had over two decades of sensational driving experience at home. Never hit anyone but had been hit by all manners of scraps on wheels. Nothing serious though, lost few side mirrors to okada and trafficator to marwa. If you can drive in Lagos, the maxim is that you will drive anywhere. Wrong.

Again, processes took over expediency in my first attempt at securing a valid USA driver licence. Needless, to say that comes after a painstaking procedures of ascertaining your mental condition and drug abuse compatibility. You're expected to pass a computer based driving tests by answering series of questions in a conditioned environment within a particular time. If you pass the aforementioned, you are then scheduled for a practical road test.

The road test is two way- one conducted in the safe driving course of the motor vehicle administration popularly known by it's acronym MVA. Here, you're expected to do some manoeuvring and basic driving coordination and its only after this that you will be unleashed on the public road.

My first attempt ended as abruptly as I started with the instructor terming my handling of the steering wheel as “too aggressive”. I have just failed. Racism! I complained heavily to my Nigerian host. He said the steering wheel is designed to be held with two hands and not one hand on the steering and the other hand dangling out of the window! Lesson learnt.

I read more and studied the usage of both hands for my second attempt: Again, a white instructor. I held my breath and the steering wheel. With concentration I survived the closed course driving course and moved to the road. I had a 300 horsepower, V6 engine and I felt both man and machine must be tested to be in sync with the tempting road. Good road is a luxury where I came from. I wanted to ‘enjoy’the road.

In a less than just two minutes on the road, she asked me to pull over and hand over the car keys. Haba! She said I was endangering our life and life of others with my driving “skills”. I grudgingly complied as she drove back to the MVA. Dissapointment, despair replaced our usual hearty banters as my host drove me back home.

This was becoming embarrassing- a mere driving test for somebody that came from Nigeria imbued with Lagos sense! So, the next driving test was successful as I purged myself of invectiveness, rage and home made “skills” during the test.

I mused at how perennially folks at home drive each other crazy with road rage, aggression, ignorance of road signs, road ethics and simple discipline and wonder how far this backward lifestyle will take us.

Moonwalk

The bitter rivalry between nations and races goes way back to civilization and technology. The debatable issues of which race or nation is more superior have similarly been the crux of many fierce wars, conquests and adventures. Till today, there are those that are still of the firm opinions that religion is a tactical weapon of diplomacy in achieving submissions when and where brutal force had failed. If the end of the world tarries, that will continue to be a subject of contention and attrition.

The cold war between the former USSR and USA did not start with the meddling of the former in the latter's last presidential elections. To understand the crux of their beef, we must endure a trip in the time machine. Apart from docile China, both countries shared between them one third of the liveable land on the planet, leaving the rest of us to squeeze into spaces left over by the sprawling seas.

Furtherance to their ambition of owing the planet in an unequal proportion, the world was forced to run their governance along capitalism and socialism ideals as dictated by the two superpowers. Of course, it was not always the best for the rest of the world in terms of stable government but guess who benefit from the chaos, coup and wars? There were just three sources of buying arms for the rest of the world to self destruct: The Russians, Americans and of course, the unreliable black market.

In the early 60s, the batlle for supremacy moved into space conquest while the rest of the world was left to grapple with everyday challenges. In 1969, the world watched with abated breath as the Americans landed men on the moon. It was a small step for a man but a giant leap for mankind according to Armstrong on his first step on the dusty moon soil. What was however left unsaid was the sarcasm of defeat left hanging over the Russians. With the phyric victory, the disintegration of the monolithic USSR was only a question of when.

Take a deep breath, and think about the state of technology in early 60s, if you were born. Wire landline rotary telephone was the rave and rare in most homes; there were no fax machine or scan facility. There were no chips for the computer, and as matter of fact what you have in your today's iphone 6 dwarfs the entire computer in Nigeria then. The automobile then was just a box on four wheels compared to today's self-acting cars. It was however during this period that America accomplished the followings:

They built a space craft sophisticated enough to take three men to lunar orbit, a second craft ejected from the command module and was able to land two man on the moon. They came out and did their expeditions without forgetting to plant the America flag 'swaying' on non-atmospheric conditions. And the same craft took off vertically from the moon surface and rejoined the orbiting craft in lunar and they all landed safely in the Pacific....all in 1969!

Since then, American space exploration and ambition has been limited to near orbit 324 mile voyages compared to the over 225,000 miles traveled in 1969 to the moon! Followers of this article should not begin to read meaning into this, after all the Russians meekly accepted defeat in spite of their superior technology then and moved on, but not to the moon.

We may have been colonised by these folks but it is time we start taking their stories with a pinch of salt. We may not be smart enough to start a space program but we are also not that dumb not to decipher between a staged moon landing in an arid Arizona and the real moon. Or we may be forced into start

telling our own tales by moonlight too.