Post elections

Unless you’re prepared to wait another six months for INEC to declare the Elections results, otherwise we may have to make do with speculations, historical conjectures and recent elections antecedents in the country. So, going by the above premise, it is right but not safe to assume that the election went the President’s way.

The President may have just been bought a new lease of life of four years. In an unconnected story, some bullion vans were sighted at the private home of APC party leader at the eve of  the elections. But, the gentleman was able to allay our fears that the content of the bullion vans were just money and not election materials. They belonged to him and not the government and he is free to use his money to assist the party. Absolutely, it is just that having bullion vans doing home delivery on a public holiday with less than 24 hours to a general elections seems suspicious to rumour mongers and all sane homo sapiens.

Think nothing of it sir, after all it is not your party that is bent on selling the NNPC. It is your former party member. After all, the estranged member's only thinking out aloud your general or should we say conscientious private thoughts.

The international observers, thinking we are running feudalism and not federalism, have also concluded that the election was free, fair and devoid of violence. They too are right. There were body bags quite alright, but none of it belonged to any observer. A few deaths here and there are expected in an election of this magnitude anyway, in our clime, as it's a ritual. The good news is that the deaths recorded are of natural causes and does not in any shape or from related to the President’s ambiguous timely order.

The Elections has come and gone and we need to take the positives from it just for academic reasons for posterity. I understand that news reaching Sahara Reporter confirmed that Sowore was shocked that people took him seriously enough to vote for him. He will go again, and hopefully will be back in the next four years.

Optimistically, he will have been sober enough to start his entrance into active politics from the house of assembly. And for the rest of the gang of presidential candidates, having their names on the ballot papers must have sufficed as testimonials for now. And with good behaviour, who knows, a Federal appointment may be in the making for the conformists.

Going forward, the President may want to consider the items on his pending file since 2015. And if they are no longer there he could get the vice president to retrieve them before they start the first cabinet meeting. They are: restructuring, energy, corruption without merit and war on terrorism. With no trader moni to distract him, the VP should be back on time and insist on not been locked out, again.

What's next?

Just in case you have been so caught up in our elections and you couldn't know who  R. Kelly is and what he did? Here is a synopsis: the 52 year old multiple Grammy award winner who has been flying for sometime now succumbed to the laws of gravity when he finally crash landed in Chicago, last week. He was at the Cook County to answer charges in a 10-count aggravated sex abuse. While rolling out award winning singles almost on a regular basis in public, the R & B crooner has also been busy privately.

The FBI (an agency in charge of white crimes) has been on his trail for years now. The artiste has been taking advantage of teenagers who were sympathetic to his pathetic desires. Jumping up and down to his music is endearing enough, but having lazy youths  practically answering to his my body is calling pleads is disgusting. And if you still think relationship by association automatically confers celebrity status, then read on.

Like any alleged person who is enjoying the status of presumption of innocence until found guilty, Kelly pleaded not guilty to the criminal liability charges. He was to be released with a posted $100,000 bail that the three time Grammy winner couldn’t pay! With his celebrity friends more broke than him, his temporary salvation came from an unlikely quarters. Still, credit to Kelly for being able to unsolicitedly walk into a court to put records (no pun intended) straight.

Having fulfilled the first item on his to-do list by running the presidential election to a halt, Atiku must now borrow a leaf from Kelly and step into any court of competence jurisdiction to clear whatever is left of his smeared name. We all know that the President will never grow a pair overnight to prosecute him. However, to have him as a credible opposition, it is time to do the needful. Reverse the order of prosecution; the burden of proof is no longer on who alleged.

By the way, he has so very little to lose anyway. Money is gone, connection is lost and wives may soon disappear the way Dele Momodu did. Going to court alone in Nigeria can be terrifying especially if friends with bullion vans no longer have your back.
The possibility of prison experience either in Nigeria or America holds little fascination but Atiku can be rest assured that he will never see the inside of a prison, at least in Nigeria.

Sadly, R. Kelly will serve his term when convicted and two things await him in prison. Either he becomes a rap artiste or he gets saved but not as a catholic. The Pope can hear him calling quite alright, but he has his hands full of priests who have been equally accused of sexual abuse for now.

Oscar

Unlike our general elections, Oscar is done and dusted with minimal fuss- no host, but the event was still graceful. And, it was also a  mixed fortune for blacks in a black month on the world's biggest entertainment stage.

On stage was Africa’s biggest export in comedy, South Africa's Trevor Noah. His climb to the zenith of creative comedy has been a combination of hard work, ingenuity and clarity of purpose. Just like other comedians, he’s talented but where he stands out is his ability to consistently engage intellect, shun mediocre jokes and acclimatize his wit to his environment. Such a pure class, you'll say, but I digress.

The Oscar wasn’t about Trevor; his time is surely coming.  It was to be about Black Panther, the $1b grossing movie of an almost entire black cast partly filmed in Nigeria. The movie got looked over at the coveted best picture category as the award in that category went to the Green Book. I have seen both movies in a disproportionate times, and still cannot quite figure how Wakanda lost the ‘election’ to the Green Book. Before heading to court, a proof is needed.

It has to be a Sunday. With every member of my family gone to church, I picked an armchair, remote, parchment and pen and settled down with a bottle of something as company to watch the Black Panther. Again, the movie appears to tick everything in the box. But for Killmonger, the villain in the movie last request, “bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the bridge because they knew death was better than bondage”. This seem to cynically address the  challenges obstructing black excellence like cynicism, racism  and slavery. The dispassionate council may have found this obtrusive. There is no point in going to court on this one, it is a premeditated decision. I will lose.

Backstage at home and capitalising on the tribal benevolence of Buhari, Atiku has continue to make a parody out of a famous Yoruba idiom that speaks to his alleged reputation as a kleptomaniac. Presently, a court is entertaining a case of stolen mandate that Atiku brought querying why the people allegedly chose his kinsman over him.

But the President is not threatened as there is no proof of any malpractices. The President is equally finding it difficult to get evidence to establish a case of corruption against his kinsman. And if there was one, there is an acting Judiciary to serve both actors fairly by ensuring that neither case is won or lost at the expense of another.

Pretty Young Thing

Until death did my mum and superstition apart, she never believed in coincidence. She felt the universe was too orderly for the chaotic nature of happenstance. So, if I came home early from school with the excuse of early dismissal, she still wanted to find out why? It is a good thing that I didn’t inherit that as a maternal trait, from her. It comes with endless burden on the conscience when I already have enough financial burden.

Last month was meant to be a black month for some reasons my mum would have queried. Why picked an incomplete month from a dozen other available months to celebrate a race as black as blacks. Anyway,  joining us in celebration in a way that shows They Don’t Care about Us. The whites chose the same month to change the time. They moved themselves up an hour into daytime and at the same time dragged half of our race back by eons. The significance of such a minute change probably would have escaped everyone as mere coincidence if not for this unrelated occurrence.

By airing Michael Jackson’s documentary on sexual abuse of kids, HBO has in a way opened a pandora box of new scourge called pedophilia haunting black celebrities. This sordid behaviour may have been induced by drug, broadcast by Oprah and taken advantage of by the whites but these guys are as guilty as Atiku, if you ask me. Ooops! My Bad.

The evidence against MJ may appear totally Off the Wall but my mum would still have pondered why a black man would commit a white man’s crime in a strange land (it was actually done in Neverland) but she still won’t be pacified by the change of address. And in fairness, it doesn't matter whether Michael  is Black or White, anyway. Don’t chuckle, my mum was minimally read like our President.

It is now being whispered that selective prosecution of black celebrities may be another way of telling blacks to Beat it. Hence, both blacks that were forced and those that came to US on their volitions are stigmatised as Smooth Criminals.

And now, it doesn’t matter if we built their rails, did the farms, developed their sports, help with the inventions and even got involved with governance. All we have to show for being redundant or participatory guests is prosecution with evidences? It is time to leave. Good enough, the timing is right.

After a Thriller of an election at home, President Buhari is desirous of people of integrity who have never listened to Michael  Jackson’s Pretty Young Thing (Our democracy is too young to be exposed to political pedophile, but if you ask me, a 20-year old democracy's come a long way. As you all know, at 20, you're also no longer a Stranger in Moscow). If interested, you have twelve months to be back home for an appointment. Afterall, it took the President six months to pick the present cabinet he has not been able to work with.

National Anthem

I have just listened to the instrumental version of our National Anthem on Lagelu FM. It was awesome. It resonated light-heartedly, intensely and didn’t climax. The fantastic composition and arrangement have little or no semblance with the state of the nation. We may not be able to account for the fervour and patriotism in it, but we need to keep the lyrics safe for our kids.

Our leaders lurk.

Diversifying education

Nothing thrills the poor more than the rich stewing in problems. Anything to take their mind off their present predicament for a second is so gratifying . Yes, the rich also thrive in buying stuffs they don’t need to impress the poor that they equally don’t like. Nothing sadistic should be read to this mutual feelings. There has never been any love lost between these two. So, it was a bit weird when the news of school bribery scandal broke and started trending in the USA.

The FBI, needing more education on how to effectively wrap up their relentless investigations into the 2016 general elections, busted a ring of rich parents bribing their kids into elite schools. I honestly don’t know why a no news like this is tripping the headlines, except for the fact that the poor are happy to see celebrities and the rich (some black celebs are poorer than their adoring fans) in trouble. Nothing tweets better for the poor than a raven bearing bad news to the palace.

Rather than buying smart kids; there are these 33 parents and 13 coaches who are being prosecuted for the cheating scam with figures ranging from $10,000 to half a million dollars to secure admission for their wards in Ivy league schools. By the way, Ivy league schools are schools you can drop out from and still be relevant in the world. The only news here, is that Trump is not mentioned, he must have safely left school before the news broke and before his dad died.

What is however painful is that black kids generically referred to as poor kids are being denied spots in an educational system that was designed to give them a head start in an unfair environment. Sports scholarship that for sometime has become a short cut to sports admission has similarly been hacked. With the rich slamming shut doors of opportunity on the poor everywhere, you wonder if an egalitarian society is possible here or the poor should just wait for the hereafter.

The rich, back home, are not as daft as to be paying to draft their kids into schools like their American counterparts.  What is the point in buying admission when you can own the entire school? And when they cannot outrightly buy one like the religious leaders, they simply donate school library, laboratory and dormitories to schools whose Ivy league status is determined not by academic excellence, but rather by the virtue of the population of rich kids there.

Pending when our school admissions process is subjected to similar investigative scrutiny, it will continue to enjoy the concept of presumption of innocence from the society, and vote of confidence from our President who ironically got his certificate by home delivery.

Casting the first stone

I paced around the platform in time and on time with my hands deep in my pockets. The rumblings below my feet and the gentle vibration of my cell in my pocket nudged me into two simultaneous but different activities. I looked up and the flickering information board confirmed the timely arrival of the train as it hissed to a stop.

I checked my phone to confirm the video message of the untimely arrival of our locomotive engine train maiden trip to Abeokuta in fanfare. I boarded, unslinged my backpack and sat down. The seat was comfortable and it was not supposed to be after all, it's a mere mass transit, I started writing this piece in an air of stale disappointment.

The Abeokuta train’s arrival time was an era off, so also is its single rail track system. India, Senegal and even Canada would have joined us in an overwhelming celebration if the train had arrived post colonial time - sometime in early 60s. Well, better late than never is  hardly a consolation advice for a single lady who is experiencing a protracted delay in getting a spouse. Every guy who knees to tie his shoes will be perceived  by her as a prospect suitor.

For this priceless antique, are we not supposed to be grateful? No, but we are. It is the government's responsibility to provide this and so much more for her citizens. If however, you had frustratingly waited for 16 years on an empty promise, every fairly used  items that comes your way from abroad will look like a gift from above.

The good thing is that the soul train will run free of charge like our educational  system  pending when the elections will be over, after which presumably you may  have to start using your PVC to get you on-board.

In the last four decades, we have all watched from the popular stand as the physical infrastructures the colonialist left behind slowly crumbled due to our lack of maintenance culture. Also, our inability to accommodate social infrastructures  in our discourse is the reason for our evident systemic failure.

Consequently, on board the slow moving train were the best wavering minds circumstances can put together to discuss why we are still this far behind in the comity of  nation.  The contingent includes a Nobel laureate, paramount ruler (I wonder the relevance of a king in a republic), party chieftains and some white folks to give the belated occasion some semblance of respect and make it colourful.
On arrival, the contingent gave a warm speech to show appreciation to the government, knowing fully well they will never board the train again.

Contrastingly, Ogun residents had to wait for the President’s campaign team to wisely arrive by road to express their indebtedness. Sadly, the campaign team had to leave in a hurry to avoid any injurious vote of thanks as the people decided  to cast their first vote with stones and not PVC!

My train’s screeching stop  brought me back from reverie. And as I disembarked I wonder why we have to necessarily start our own journey by first going back to the terminal, rather than just boarding from the nearest train station to us?

Rigged to death

For democratic inspiration  and validation, the Nigerian administration has continued to look up to an American government that is presently tumbling down the stairs tripped by Russian interference in their 2016 General elections.

After capitalism and democracy have buried socialism in a cold war fought between two models, Russia has not hidden her disdain for a people’s representative government. Having sensed a debt weakened USA, Russia chose to launch a cyber attack on the very heart of democracy by influencing their elections. Influencing election in Nigeria is called rigging. It would surprise you to hear also in Naija that it's not a big deal.

We may be a consuming economy with penchant for importing cutting edge technological products like tooth picks and matches, but we definitely need no external help in influencing our own elections. We are quite capable of mishandling our collective commitment to our future the way we deem fit. But, the President is a step ahead of everyone in ensuring that the postponed elections do not degenerate in to a cold war.

So, fearing that El-Rufai may be serious about returning international observers to their various countries in body bags, the President has in wise counsel ordered that local observers snatching ballot boxes for the sole aim of independently influencing votes cast be shot in cold blood. And I guess investigations into the ballot box snatching and the resultant extra judicial killing will be done posthumously and on merit.

Election rigging and corruption are very serious crimes in the United States and that is why there are seventeen ongoing investigations (including criminal) against President Trump. Till date, the investigation has yielded several indictments, five guilty pleas and Trump's personal lawyer and fixer will hopefully be in prison a day before my March birthday. As serious as this crime goes, none of those who pleaded guilty has been shot. Neither has any indicted Russian agent been returned to Kremlin in a body bag.

The consolation however for independent observers is that all these Presidential unsavoury election measures will be happening offline while most observers like me will be spinelessly monitoring the elections online. Pending when Oshinbajo is able to explain in “trader moni” language, Section 129 (1) and (2) Electoral Amendment Act 2010  to the President within legal and moral context, observers are advised to postpone all activities that could earn them a befitting full military burial rather than a 24 months imprisonment as stipulated under the Act.

At least, until democracy returns from her trip to the United States for medical appointment.

Unpresidential candidates

Senator Bernie Sanders will not be running for the Presidency at the 2020 US general elections. At 77 and having been running all his life, Mr Sanders decided last week to save his breath by walking into a local radio station to declare his ambition for the Presidency.

The senator will be joining the already crowded team of Democrats presidential candidates who are intent on taking power from Trump in case he does not self destruct before his term is over. Bernie may become the oldest American President in modern history, if he wins the election in 2020. But, Americans will be spared that blush, because Bernie has a lot of baggage that would most certainly hinder his mobility as he is supposed to be travelling light campaigning around the country.

The senator from Vermont has one of the finest minds on tour that beguile his age. The gentleman covets debate and intellectual engagements the way Nigerian politicians yearns for positions. He is not an instituted Democrat but found home among the Democrats as a socialist,and has never defected in defeat. He will be running as usual on a mantra of populist economic agenda:  bridging income inequality, higher taxes for the super rich, medicare and education for all and at all levels. Above all, he'll  be generally creating a conducive environment for social, racial, and environmental justice.

Politics is expensive everywhere. Rather than sell his ambition to the godfathers that will later incapacitate him, Mr Sanders chose the people. Within 24 hours of his declaration, he was able to raise $6m from the grassroots to kick off the campaign. He has three homes and with a total net worth of $700,000, the senator is not even financially qualified to run as a senator in Nigeria.

Bernie Sanders has never stole and not encumbered with the burden of financial allegations. His cognitive ability is remarkable as he needs no one to process information for him. He reels out figures to support his economic plan as if he’s reading from a teleprompter.  He is old but not obsolete, understands questions and has a clear chain of thoughts. Sadly, his grassroots strength may end up as his albatross in the days to come.

Trump won the electoral college but lost the popular election to Hilary. When the push comes to shove, the elitists will allow the people to have their say while they will have their way. Democracy may be a game of numbers but it doesn’t always add up when the poor are being counted.

Not knowing what our Presidential candidates stand for should not discourage you from performing your civic responsibility.

All the same: Vote. It may count!

Decamp or divorce

Read my lips...

Decamp or divorce 

Until last week Jeff Bezos was the richest man on planet earth and possibly the dumbest.

His financial tragedy is however unconnected with the longest government shutdown in the history of America. It has nothing to do with  the pummelling stocks at wall street.  He didn't submit a proposal for the $5.7b wall that Trump intended for the southern border. He is not in the healthcare sector, so Trump's inability to replace Obamacare with the best healthcare is also not a factor.

North Korea is still building nuclear offensive weapons and the Iran deal is still unresolved, on Trump's table.  None of these unfulfilled  Trump’s

campaign promises has anything to do with the abrupt end to Jeff's number one running as the world's richest individual. 

Twenty-five years ago, Jeff Bezos made a campaign promise to secure the heart of his hearthrob( Mackenzie) at an altar in front of largely anonymous people. It remained unclear how long Jeff had been keeping his promise but it was discovered last month that he had been sexting(ask any teenager) with another woman who has been sympathising with his pathetic desires while surreeptiously keeping his wife in the other room. 

Fraternising with another party without officially decamping from the party you’re registered with is a serious offense that  carries an equally deep implications. Unless you are  able to chose wisely and recognise that you cannot solve a political problem intellectually, you are in a biiiiiig trouble. But, it is still possible to defect to another party and not only find succour but also have your sins forgiven. 

For not choosing wisely, Mr Bezos has been hit with a divorce that will cost him an alimony that is about the size of half of Africa’s total GDP. 

To quietly go away,  Mrs Bezos has agreed to the sum of $66b as being half of Mr Bezos’ total wealth of $137b( before Yahoo boys start getting excited, they should know that there is a difference between cash flow and net worth). At age 50, Mackenzie is not likely to start another Amazon, there will be men who are already circling her and whispering that she is the Amazon until they separate her from her new found wealth. 

Nigerians have been serially cheated by her leaders in the last 25 years, but I cannot imagine a break up now. The country is broke. And with litany of unfulfilled campaign promises,  divorce option is too unsavoury to be on the table for the people.  Like Jeff Bezos, we dumbly have not chosen wisely. However, it is time to choose again from limited options.

The bait

The Septuagenarians presidential candidates saved us some blushes by not turning up for their job interview yesterday. The world was watching, and from their antecedents,  it is becoming mentally and morally sapping for the duo to just keep up their appearances. Without a Pastor to interpret the President's tongue talking into rational speech and with every panel looking like a court room to Atiku, there was no way  either of them was going to incur another national embarrassment by swallowing the bait.

More so, there was no way the President will show up when he is technically not even the presidential candidate for his party. He conceded that responsibility at an APC political campaign last week to Chief Great Ogboru of Delta State. It really has been a tragedy of errors all week long for both candidates.

Enough of blaming our systemic errors on these lacklustre elderly gentlemen. They are our cross, to borrow from Sidney Dean, in "White men can't jump” and we should own up and live with it. How do we that? By giving the new kids on the block that lit up the darkness left in the leading parties podiums some chance. Oby’s experience at the world stage, Moghalu’s clarity of thoughts and eloquence coupled with Durotoye's intellectual calmness is a mix that can act as catalysts for the paradigm shift that Nigeria deserves.

Sadly, black as a colour when mixed with another colour will still produce black, it is like blinking in the dark. No one sees it. So, an alliance of these brilliant hopeful candidates will only not gel, but it will not be allowed enough time to hold by the APC’s  political commercials that Channels Television unprofessionally allowed to air intermittently against fairness.

The odds are heavily against these bright candidates but they should take solace in the fact that their gain is our loss. We must have mortgaged our future in the past to the absentee presidential candidates who by their disdain for the political process will still get the job. NaijaBet rewards people on other considerations above merit. God bless Nigeria! And the people say....

Timely visiting visa

Yesterday,  Atiku and his entourage that included the serving number 3 man in the country arrived Washington DC. To receive them at the airport were their friends from the Nigerian community. The US government are aware of the visit but they could not send anyone because they have shutdown, like on strike. The shutdown has nothing to do with Atiku, just like Atiku's visit has nothing to do with governance, maybe campaign.

In the absence of official public statement about the visit, the social media is then free to do what it does best, speculate. Atiku's team which includes Saraki, the Senate President must have a significance beyond scoring a cheap political point and we did not have to look any further. With the selective ongoing war on corruption in Nigeria, selling NNPC  to friends and families may be a bit difficult. Unbundling NNPC however to existing customers in diaspora is not likely to present any sales and marketing challenges. Who else could legitimize this deal than the serving number 3 man? Smart move, you'll say.

Atiku's supporters have not been magnanimous in their victory lap. But, who can blame them, fulfilling campaign promises is a very difficult thing for politicians these days, so, there is overwhelming sense of victory when one is fulfilled, especially before elections. After all, the reason Atiku will not be able to meet with any US official apart from the border patrol that searched him at the airport  is because Trump shut down his own government because he hasn't been able to build the wall he promised during his campaign for two years. Sounds typical, right.

There are more pictures of the beaming team in different postures than messages since they touched down for their excursion trip. While they are in Washington, they are advised to visit and take selfies in front of the White house, Smithsonian museums, National mall and the Capitol Hill may be of interest to our Senate President. They are all closed. The team should however stay off 935 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in DC for security reasons.

And if you still think there is no big deal in going to USA with a rap sheet on your neck, try and steal a phone and see if you will even be allowed out of Nigeria at all. God helps you if you’re not an APC card carrying member. The bottom line is when you are big, you’re big!

Divisive campaign

President Buhari has never been a fluent person in speech, so when he slipped on his way down at one of his campaigns and the opposition made a meal out of it; that he collapsed due to Ill health, I found that sickening. If this kind of hate does not reawaken you to the new climate the divisive campaign being run by both supporters had unleashed on our polity, nothing else will.

Equipped with the best smartphone that daily levies  from the multi nefarious garages in the country can buy, but simply unable to use it, the gentlemen enforcers that sometimes double up as security outfit at Bourdillon have announced their presence with a bang using devices everyone is familiar with at the first APC campaign in the commercial capital of the country without any casualties. This among other diplomatic messages passed on that day,  is a gentle reminder to the opposition that this indeed is going to be the freest and fairest elections in the country, if they behave.

In the light of this refreshing arrangement singlehandedly put together by the godfather to ensure the security of ballot boxes, votes cast and not cast,  it is obvious that nobody can guarantee any other thing apart from clear victory. This is probably why somebody has wisely decided to have future Q and A sessions, campaign and debates by proxy. You don't become a general by fighting all battles yourself.

In similar vein, I have thought it wise to leave my opinion on Nigeria elections in the experienced hands of the executive arm of the APC as represented by the transportation sector, so as to be able to concentrate on the more violent American government issues happening also by proxy.

Two weeks ago, President Trump decided to pull out American troops from Syria without Congress authorization and without the support of his national security advisers, on the basis of the fact that his government has defeated ISIS.

Not known for rhetorics, the brutal Islamic extremist organisation has responded yesterday by killing 4 Americans in a restaurant at Manbij without announcing to the press but violently sending a message that the battle is not over.

It has been said that the premature untimely victory call by the President may have emboldened the terrorists in motivating them into the deadly attack that led to 19 avoidable death. This is exactly what happened when you count your chickens before they are hatched. Well, you can forgive Trump, he has no military background. This would never have happened in Nigeria. I miss my country.

Solving by substituting

America and Americans are sharply divided: the country along latitude and longitude lines (that is why there are more than one time zone within the country), and the people along party lines (that is also why there are two parties and few independent of political  philosophies), respectively.

They are therefore angry at both phenomena, but with no one in particular.

Some two years ago, Americans in their unending quest for naivety decided to let the Presidency be a first time job entry and Donald Trump hurriedly applied. After eight years of the colour contrast in the white house, Americans were ready to welcome any white person, not woman, though, into the white house again. Trump was surprised nobody checked his resume, it must be mentioned that he didn't have one. It was shocking  even to Mr Trump himself that his background check result was swept under the carpet. He lost the debates, lost the popular vote but won the elitists' political gimmickry called electoral college.

America and Americans already have light that is not dependent on a super minister. They also have fantastic road infrastructure that you can actually drive on. They have telecommunications that works even when the owners are not in town and political structures that is not founded on ethnic considerations. So, Trump ran a provocative campaign that will make America great again by promising to provide what they lack - nationalism,  white immigrants, walls, obnoxious taxes, and peaceful Muslims.

Two years into his administration's controlling all arms of government, and with his family members in sensitive governmental positions, apart from nepotism, nothing has been achieved. With Democrats back in the house, Mexico's  blunt refusal to pay for a wall they didn't order for and 17 days into an infamous shutdown of government that has render 800,000 federal government workers unpaid, Americans are beginning to get impatiently edgy.

Belatedly, Americans have taken to the malls, compulsively shopping in protest. Activities have also increased  at the diners and take-outs as more Americans are seen letting out their frustrations on different cuisines washed down with cheap wine because the economy is not so good. You cannot blame them, managing this political situation for the next two years online is a better prospect than burning tyres on their streets.

In his protest, Trump has decided  that he may declare a national emergency that will help him embark on his own shopping spree by bypassing the Congress in building a wall of his promise. For me, it is comforting to have a spare country that has been relatively peaceful in the last three years due to the fact that that we have not been paying attention to the devil in the details of our political dialogue.

House of Commons

Against wise counsel and having ran out of ideas on how to handle immigration issues and have Mexico pay for a wall that is not in their budget, President Trump decided to join me on my short vacation by just shutting down government so that nobody will loot the shop before we come back.
Well, nobody came, but rumours and gossips were rife on the internet to keep me distracted from the artificial peace that drink and laziness bestowed while the vacation lasted. In the era that everyone with a smartphone is now a journalist of some sort, caution is advised in assimilating online news from itinerary smartphone publishers.

Weighing the equities and the dynamics of governance since Trump stumbled into power, it is logical to assume first, that the Presidency is not a first entry job and secondly, that the House is the easiest way of checking a moderate presidency with an overbearing supporters base.

The standoff today is more as a result of the riling of Trump supporters than the outcome of the President's critical reasoning. Having frittered away the goodwill that comes with his party controlling all arms of government in the first half of his tenure, his days look horrifically numbered with the Democrats seizing the initiative from the House in this second half.

Buhari enjoys much more privileges than Trump in the sense that like his anti-corruption crusade, he has zero level of opposition. The rantings from PDP is at best a feedback from an internal political system arising from a symbiotic relationship between the ruling party and the party on the bench that provides substantive substitute for injured politicians like Dino.

If you’re in doubt, take a look at the team list submitted for the 2019 Presidential campaign council - all familiar names and are all from the same feeder team.  So, to the supporters at the popular stand, the difference between APC and PDP, is in the alphabets and not the jerseys!

This election is already decided, again by the elitists as prophesied based on probability by their frantic colleagues in the religious sector. The only democratic way out of this conundrum is for the masses to change destination and head for the House. After all,  charity, oversight functions, checks and legislation all start from the House.

Lastly, this piece does not feature on Sahara Reporter, so it may be missed by Sowore. But, whoever sees him on campaign trail should let him know that activists are at their functional best in a House that is built from the foundation and not from the roof. He will understand.

The law.

The interpretation of the law can be perplexing and exhausting, at times. Otherwise, Atiku and Ganduje will not be  tottering around the nation with an all paid tax enabled privileges. Like the blindfolded Lady Justice, the President has also turned blind eyes to this. Believe me, that’s the best the President can do with the present circumstances.

If  Lady Justice was to remove her blindfold and the President was cured of his ear infections and Lady Justice and Mallam President are both able to see, hear and persecute those that have odiously stolen us blind (No pun intended). We may end up with not only crumbs but also a state of utopia.That we don't need.

Can you imagine if indeed we decided to honestly pursue the President's agenda of zero tolerance for corruption with all the state apparatus of justice. The President will be without his creative cabinet members, states' governors will languish in jail, Houses of Assembly may have to serve as temporary prisons for the honourables.  Local council executives will all be remanded in prison by magistrates courts in their own locality and the entire Justice Department will be suspended for corrupt practices  while we bring Rwandans to dispense justice. My people, open your eyes, it won’t happen.

This is Nigeria not China.
However, the hypothetical situation recognises that it is not right for man to be alone and so the President will have to make do with the present saints that surround him and let's assume Lady Justice is truly blind from the blindfold, and if wailers removed the blindfold, the situation  will not change significantly  because Fashola has ensured that the government will not be held liable if Lady Justice still cannot see.

Interestingly, Buhari has not been able to infect either his cabinet or his supporters with his integrity. The affable general has continued to maintain that the economy is not good in spite of the fact that all road constructions, energy and transportation infrastructures going on, online. Also and allegedly too, one of the President's men is also on tape to have resonated(though as expected he denied it) what almost all Nigerians feel daily.

You really don't need a witness to prove  to anyone that you are hungry. The symptoms are too conspicuous not to be seen.

The government proves they may not be listening, but they at least see, and that is why the Pastor Vice President has been entrusted with the responsibility of turning the remaining five pieces of fish and bread in the shop into collateral free loan to be distributed to the people as he deems fit before elections.

While Dino the detractor is cooling off in police custody "for booing the President".  The Vice President should not be deterred by  any other armchair critics, after all it is those that will not benefit from  the dividend of democracy that are shouting themselves hoarse.

Whoever that is not satisfied should seek redress in court of law, where hopefully the advocate Vice President awaits with Lady Justice in tow. Musing, right?