Steal Undecided

While we are still clueless about who our next president will be – whether an alleged thief or a squeaky clean Sheriff surrounded by more alleged thieves who cannot make the call ; Bill Gates has gone ahead with his own campaign by committing $700 million into a project that will ultimately solve our nonpolitical problems through the reinvention of the toilet. In an effort to get our leaders not to treat the voters the way they treat their poo, scientists have on the basis of Bill Gates fund come up with a radically transformed toilet that is capable of levelling the status discrepancy between the haves and have nots.

The toilet removes germs from the human waste and recovers valuable resources such as energy, clean water, and nutrients. It bypasses the expensive traditional sewage system by operating “off the grid” without connections to water, sewer, or electrical lines thereby making it available to the over 2 billion people, that mostly reside in Africa at an affordable cost. About  88% of deaths worldwide are due to diarrheal and other diseases that can be attributed to unsafe water, poor hygiene, inadequate sanitation - and not the devil as our pastors wanted us to believe.

By way of introduction, Bill is the rich American, brilliant Microsoft co founder with a verifiable source of wealth that cannot identify mosquito but has spent significant part of his time and money in eradicating malaria and polio in Africa. Additionally, Bill Gates has announced that he will be paying off our $76 million Overseas Development Assistance (ODA) loan  secured from Japan in 2014.

Wait a minute, as a mark of gratitude, the next time Bill Gates show up here, we can dye his hair black, fix in new dental implants, feed him on kola nut to impair his accent, force him into high heel shoes and leave his ears the way they are for effective listening, find something for Oshiomole and Okorocha to be quiet and we may have a President in 2019 that will be acceptable to both the wailers and hailers.

/